Bohemian zen quests

Yesterday I talked to a friend here in Cape Verde who is having some troubles with her boyfriend. As usual, I played the proxy homewrecker. I told her that it's all his fault and that she should find someone better.

That's how my personal philosophy goes. Sure, if you sometimes run into snags with a part of your life (work, romance), don't wig out... fix it. But if you continually run into snags with a part of your life, you need to drop it and move on. Immediately. The moment you know that your lover or job isn't going to make you happy anymore, they're not worth another day of your time. Yeah, change is scary, but the comfort of the familiar is not worth the cost of watching your life whoosh by.

Evidently, though, this depends on you having options.

Not many young men in Cape Verde are more responsible, mature, or motivated than my friend's boyfriend. Dropping him wouldn't mean finding somebody better; it would probably mean having nobody. She doesn't really like her job, either, but because jobs are so scarce here it's a miracle just to have one. That's what you do here: you go to school, you apply yourself, and if you're lucky, you end up doing something that brings home the bacon. If you do that, you've succeeded. Passion for what you do? Pah! That's like winning the lottery. That's God's gift to the few, and you'd be arrogant to expect it for yourself.

It was thus that I found myself confronted by my own privilege. I never realized it before, but the "pursuit of happiness" isn't just utopian fluff; it wasn't written just to sound good. There really is an American dream, and moreover, it is quintessentially American. Our whole society is so meticulously calibrated for it that in the rest of the world, we are synonymous with it. It's an amazing achievement, really.

But in the developing world — even here in Cape Verde, where the people lead decent lives — happiness is something you'd be crazy to pursue. You try for money and companionship instead. If you aimed any higher, you'd have too far to fall.

This troubles me. I want bohemian zen quests for everyone.